+ How long will I have to be in therapy?

That depends on the level of depth at which you desire change. People who are looking to change or explore parts of themselves that are more defended will need to remain in the therapeutic process longer.

Some people require a longer period of time to build real trust and intimacy with me, while others jump right in because they are in enough pain that they are willing to get vulnerable more quickly.

The process can be as long or as brief as you wish.

+ How often will I need to attend therapy sessions?

Most clients feel that weekly sessions are sufficient. But in some cases, more is required, particularly in times of crisis or extreme distress. If you desire sessions more than twice per week, it is possible that you need a higher level of care, such as and IOP or PHP program, which we can discuss.

I don’t recommend a frequency that is less than every other week. In such cases, we generally find that most of the session time is spent catching up on storylines and happenings, leaving inadequate time for the deeper exploration and processing that is needed for therapeutic growth.

+ How will I know that I am getting better?

I like to evaluate therapeutic progress in terms of growth and insight, rather than based on how happy or good a client feels. There are times when deep growth is happening but you may still be feeling a lot of pain.

You will know that you are growing when you find yourself having more insight about yourself and your behaviors. If you find yourself expanding your range of tolerable experiences, idea and emotions, and if you see improvement in your well being or relationships. If you begin to have more clarity about who you are and what you want and need, and if you find yourself more able to forgive yourself and others. These are all strong indicators that you are getting something valuable out of your therapy experience.

+ Will you give me advice?

I don’t generally give advice unless I am asked for it. Even then, I try to understand why you may be seeking advice from me, and we can talk about your desire to be guided in that particular way. Our process will be more about you finding out how to navigate your own unique set of challenges based on your values and your goals.

That being said, I do have a lot of life experience, so I have formulated some general opinions and suggestions about behaviors and patterns that I observe. I am happy to share those in the interest of your therapeutic process.

+ Do I have to be “clean and sober” in order to be a good candidate for therapy?

No - I don't expect my client to refrain from substance use provided they are not under the influence during our sessions. I will say, however, that therapeutic work yields greater benefits when clients are willing to feel their feelings and tolerate the discomfort and pain that sometimes comes up during the course of therapy work.

We can work together to set goals around this, and I will help you develop skills to widen your range of tolerable feelings and experiences so that you can work toward sobriety, if that is your goal.

+ Can you help me fix my partner?

Oh, if only I were a miracle worker! Many people come to therapy in a lot of pain over a relationship and they deeply desire for their partner to see, understand, and validate them. They often want their partner to change.

My role, however, is not to try to change your partner, but rather to help you relate to your partner is a way that is more productive and more likely to assist you in getting your needs met in your relationship.

+ Will you also see my kids or my entire family?

I am happy to see families for therapy when the situation calls for it. Sometimes it's very helpful to the work to bring in parents, siblings, children or former spouses when those people are willing to participate in the therapy process.

Before doing this, we'll discuss your goals and boundaries and all participants are made aware of the scope and objective for the family work.

+ Do you prescribe medication?

No, only a medical doctor such as a Psychiatrist or General Practitioner can prescribe meds for you. I have referral relationships with a number of excellent physicians in the therapeutic community and I am happy to refer you to a practitioner who will be a good fit for you should we find that you require medication as part of your treatment plan.

+ Can you design a food plan or exercise plan for me?

The short answer is yes. I do have a background in nutrition and fitness, but I am not a Certified Dietician or Nutritionist so any meal planning I provide will be general and I only provide this in cases where no complicated medical issues exist.

I strongly recommend that my clients who have eating disorders or chronic health conditions supplement their therapy work with dietary support with a qualified professional.

I have referral relationships with a number of extremely knowledgeable and compassionate professionals in the field of fitness and nutrition who I know will take excellent care of your physical needs!

+ What can I expect from a couples session with you?

During our first session we will get acquainted and I will be doing a lot of assessment about how you and your partner relate to one another. We will discuss goals and the current status of your relationship.

From there, you can expect that you and your partner will be doing most of the work! I will coach you as needed and I will provide theoretical background for the interventions I chose.

The mission is to help you develop skills that will enable you to tackle any conversation or situation without causing harm to one another. Couples generally find that the therapy work can be fun, connective, vulnerable, and painful or frustrating at times.

You can expect to be cared for and respected in my presence and you can expect that I will hold you and your partner accountable for the quality of the work that comes out of the sessions. The more you are willing to be honest and vulnerable with one another, the greater the rewards you will experience.

+ What if my partner doesn't want to come to therapy?

This is actually a fairly common occurrence in a partnership: one person is on board with going to counseling and the other is not.

I first offer to talk with the partner who is reluctant and try to appease their concerns which generally helps them become willing to give it a try. Once the sessions begin, I talk with both of you about any concerns you may have and I explain the benefits of entering a therapeutic process.

That being said, it is difficult to conduct deep work when one person is closed off to the process. Usually, this is the results of a highly developed defensive strategy. I can work with this, it just may take a bit longer. If there appears to be no movement after a few months, I usually share this observation and put the burden on the couple to figure out what they want to do – do they want to work on the relationship or do they want to accept the relationship as it is, and risk losing it.

+ Will you take sides?

No, I don’t take sides. I understand that relationships are complex and difficult, and that even good people act badly sometimes. I am not a judge of a person’s character or values, but rather a facilitator of effective connection.

I have deep compassion for people who are hurting, and I know that we all make mistakes with our loved ones. If one person is behaving in a way that is abusive or destructive during session, I will pause the session and allow time for grounding and re-setting. Also, in cases where there is evidence of physical threat or violence at home, I will intervene on behalf of the safety of the family as needed.

But I do not take sides. This is your relationship. You and your partner decide whether to stay together or split up, and you decide what behaviors and boundaries are acceptable to you. I also prefer to keep all correspondence transparent to all parties, simply to avoid the appearance of an alliance with one person or the other.

+ Will you keep secrets?

If there is an issue within the relationship that is kept hidden (an affair, an addiction, etc.) then it is most certainly impacting the security of the relationship and needs to be confronted in the therapeutic process.

This is done with care, respect and only in the time frame that you are comfortable with. When one partner divulges a secret to the therapist, it places the therapist (me) in the position of withholding that information from the other party, thus compromising the trust of that person.

+ Will you see my partner and me individually or will we only conduct joint sessions together?

Because the work is on your relationship, I recommend joint sessions only. This is to help the two of you work together on your challenges, and to cultivate honesty and vulnerability.

There are times, however, when partners agree to have “break-out” sessions (one-on-one sessions) with me. Here, we can discuss privately something that they might need help disclosing to their partner, or to work on a particular skill that they are having difficulty with during the joint sessions.

Break-out sessions are conducted for the benefit of the relationship and should not be used to impart secrets to the therapist. This is handled on a case by case basis, and is only done when all parties agree to the scope, objectives and boundaries of the individual sessions.

+ Do you work on weekends or evenings? Can we do longer sessions if needed?

I don't currently work on weekends but I do work some evenings.

Those evening time slots are usually booked but please check with me to see about availability because they do open up!

Under special circumstances I will see clients on weekends, so we can discuss your scheduling needs.

Longer sessions (90 or 120 minutes) are available upon request or when it is clinically indicated.

+ Since you don’t take my insurance can I still get reimbursed from my carrier?

I am more than happy to provide you with a “superbill” which you can submit to your insurance carrier for reimbursement!

The amount of reimbursement that you receive will depend on your plan and carrier so I recommend calling them first to find out how much they pay for out of network providers.

+ What are the methods of payment that you accept?

I will accept cash, check, credit card or HSA card or PayPal.